Phill And Phil's Perfect Ten
Phill And Phil's Perfect Ten
Other names |
The Perfect Ten With Phill Jupitus And Phil Wilding (Used for search purposes on Itunes, although the official name as given by the pair themselves and Stephen Fry's introduction was 'Phill And Phil's Perfect Ten') |
Genre |
Comedy |
Country |
United Kingdom |
Languages |
English |
Starring |
Phill Jupitus, Phil Wilding |
Announcer |
Stephen Fry |
Producers |
Simon Crosse, Charlie Jones, USP Content |
Air dates |
2008 to 2011 |
No. of episodes |
45 |
Audio format |
MP3 |
Podcast |
USP Libsyn |
Phill And Phil's Perfect Ten was a comedy audiobook and irregular podcast hosted by Phill Jupitus and Phil Wilding. It was recorded and offered for free on their website and ITunes after each recording, and archive editions were available as audiobooks on audible.co.uk and ITunes each containing 4 episodes and bonus material in the form of an introduction and a 'Perfect One.' The show reunited the duo from their days on BBC 6 Music and has covered a range of topics and established a range of running jokes. Stephen Fry provided narration in the form of the introduction and stings; music was played by Jupitus on a ukulele. Content tended to be of the NSFW variety, due to extremely strong language and adult references.
The series was concluded in mid-June 2011, as the pair pursued other projects that didn’t allow for new episodes to be recorded, such as Jupitus’ role in the Monty Python musical Spamalot and Wilding’s new career as a novelist. This was an increasingly frequent issue for both of them. Shortly after the series ended, it was announced on Facebook that all 45 episodes would be made available again for free - including the four Perfect Ones from the Audible releases.
Format
'The Perfect Ten' involved Phill Jupitus and Phil Wilding discussing ten topics, with a mix of questions submitted by both listeners and the pair themselves. The show opened with a summary of the format and listener emails sharing where they listen from before the show proper began. As part of the rules of the show, the duo had to cover all 10 topics within 30 minutes and were not allowed to return to previous topics once they have rung the bell and moved on; nor could they go back and discuss anything mentioned outside of the half-hour, as it would rip the space-time continuum asunder. There were no rules for how long they can talk about each topic, but ALL of them had to be discussed within the 30 minute period. Each episode finished with a comedic summary of what the pair have learned from each show.
Episodes
- Key: if an episode number has a superscript number next to it, that is the audiobook volume containing that episode.
Episode Number |
Name |
1¹ |
Meerkat Kinnear, Blitalian Cuisine and Palin vs Palin |
2¹ |
Ringo Starr's PIN and Putin Punches a Tiger |
3¹ |
Westwood, Cardigans and Mark Lamarr Keeps Bees |
4¹ |
The Priest, The Vampire, The Milkman and his Sonic Screwdriver |
5² |
A Beautifully Thrown Pot, A Cloud of Bees and Beating Biffin's Bridge |
6² |
Hot, Wet, Wembley Stadium and our Two Dead Dads |
7² |
Lanyard Sharpie, Detective Patois and a Rum Do |
8² |
Bishop Bashing, Finger Boy and Bloody, Bloody Newport |
9³ |
Antlers, Woolworths, Velvet Mouth and Sticks of Celery |
10³ |
Stephen Hawking, Baboon Sex and Roy Keanes Beard |
11³ |
Cottaging, Stilletoes, Kleptomania - put them all in your Bucket List |
12³ |
The Festive 12 - Pink Eye, A Can Of Warm Lager and Santa Got Back |
13⁴ |
Duffy Dancing, Ditching Drink and Darwin |
14⁴ |
Coke, Cold, Kate Winslett and Pop's cock! |
15⁴ |
Detroit, Drawbridge, Disabled Toilet and the Dandelion & Burdock Diet |
16⁴ |
Newark, Crumble, Cheese and One Man Fight Club |
17 |
The Great Wank Embargo, Twatter.com and the Polish Hoskins |
18 |
Al Fresco Scud, the Floopy-Doopy anthem and Doing Daisy |
19 |
Falling Off That Wagon, Koala Tossing and Doing The Sexy Crab |
20 |
Dickie, Duffy, Doing Shots and the Big Faced Ladies of Wales |
21 |
Hoovering Olympians, Caught In The Act and Sticking It To Stomp |
22 |
Curate's Eggs, Welsh Stereotypes and Capturing Africa's Heart |
23 |
Lost In Jordan With Mark Rothko, Derek Jeter and Cheryl Cole |
24 |
Cricket Porn, Premature Dinging and Fat Rex |
25 |
Brighton Rocks: A Real Live One - Part One |
26 |
Brighton Rocks: All The World Is A Stage - Part Two |
27 |
Kingfisher Killing, "Delightful Antics" and performing for the drummer from Queen |
28 |
Bad Men, Bad Habits and Bad Arithmetic |
29 |
Wham For Slugs In The Deep End |
30 |
Storm Clouds Over Leith, Edinburgh Is Alive! Part One... |
31 |
The Dark Heart of Lothian, Edinburgh She Lives! Part Two... |
32 |
Tardy Taffy, Tired Tubby and The End of the World |
33 |
The Isle of Wight Ferry, Ogopogos and Queen Victoria's Delight |
34 |
The Festive Twelve - Theoretical Eggnog and the violent death of Tiny Tim |
35 |
It's Been A While, Aged Archery and the Amish Wallop |
36 |
Wanking Cats, Washing Dishes and Bad Dutch Accents in a Tell-All Style |
37 |
One Man and His Dog and His Infected Cock and His Musical Nose |
38 |
Licking The Biscuit Barrel Even If There's A Spider On It |
39 |
Not Live at Leeds – Phill and Phil’s Perfect Ten, A Capital Idea with An Audience at the Screen On The Green |
40 |
The Proclaimers Play for your Pleasure - P&P's Perfect Ten Live in London, Part II |
41 |
Accidental Gay Porn and Looking Through The Sex Window at Wrighty... |
42 |
Manchester, You Had It Coming (both times) - Phill and Phil’s Perfect 10 live from the Night & Day Café (part 1) |
43 |
Manchester, You Had It Coming (both times) - Phill and Phil’s Perfect 10 live from the Night & Day Café (part 2) |
44 |
The Festive 12 - Trouble at Home and Patricia Routledge on the Naughty List |
45 (final) |
Racing For The Prize with The Beak of a Puffin and Recharging your Jupitus |
Drinking Game
The perfect ten drinking game is a game requiring listeners to drink at certain signals and events referred to during the podcast. The rules are as follows;
- Any mention of an ex-partner of Phil W - drain your glass
- Any mention of Phil W's colour blindness - take a sip
- Phill J mentions his "shitty pop quiz" - take a sip
- Any mention of a sexual act - drain your glass
- Any mention of Biffins Bridge - take a sip
- Anything vegetarian mentioned - drink half glass
- Angela Lansbury - drain your glass
- A full "'Ello, 'ello, 'ello, 'ello - Wallop!" - drain your glass
- Phill J does his comedy Welsh accent - half a glass
- Phil W's legendary vodka story that's never elaborated on - two sips
- Phill J hits the "goodnight" button accidentally - a shot
The game should be played only when the 30 minutes are going, however clearly rules are lax.
See also